Thursday, will be a day I remember always. To most of you, nothing that happened was exceptional. Ahead of time, I thought it would be easy-peasy. But it wasn't.
I had my first post-cancer mammogram and then ultrasound.
Pulled into the parking lot, to the very same spot I pulled into last April when they called me back in to tell me in person the biopsy results. Very same spot. Turned off the engine. Sat there. Thought, God I don't need you to give me a verse today to hold on to now, like I asked you for last year. I liked this morning's devotion about giving you Thanks in all things and Trusting you in all things. Right now my verse flowing through the days is, I am with you always. Matthew 28. Thank you that I am on this end of the past year....
Did I pray right then in the car for no cancer? No, because I know there is no cancer. I've been praying for that healing for a year. I prayed for the doctors and technicians to be on their best, that God give them eyes to see anything they need to, that He move their hands and that the machines work top notch. I prayed for total disclosure of anything that might need work. Honesty. Then I got out of the car.
Some of the conversations in the waiting areas were worthy of n television sit-coms. I stayed quiet, reading the latest People magazine, or playing Angry Birds Rio edition on my IPAD. One woman knew someone who had had breast cancer, talked about the treatment. Another woman had breast cancer eleven years ago, they cut it out, she didn't need chemo or radiation. Another woman knew someone who had died of breast cancer just last year. These were not what I needed to be thinking about.
Getting the mammogram, the technician asked if I was okay, should she get someone else to come in with us in case I fainted, as I was perspiring and breathing quickly. I said I would be fine, that I was understandably anxious.
We are following one cyst still, and there was a ropey spot on the right breast that we will follow. Left breast is swollen and very pink but NO CANCER!
Yippee-doodle! I was relieved, but not as jubilant as I thought I would be. Why? Could it be that I felt I was healed, so this was just confirmation? Or that I know, The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, Blessed be the Name of the Lord? Job 1. Whatever comes my way, God is still good, and He is still right with me.
Nevertheless, it was an emotional time walking through the same steps I did a year ago. Like the outcome this year MUCH BETTER!
Then to the OBGYN, because the antibiotics they tried to reduce the swelling and pinkness in my left breast with, have given me a vaginal bacterial infection, beyond fungus! Lovely. I just want to not have all these creams, pills, etc to take. Some day... I want to be thriving and healthy, not putting out fires. And I want my left breast to be not pink and swollen (it's been three months since last radiation.) Some day...
The Arimidex is still making my shoulders and hips ache. At least I think that is what makes them ache. Hands achy slightly. Yoga helps.
Played tennis this morning for the first time with people, felt great. I can't keep on my toes yet, too tiring. But I will get there. I walk 30 minutes on the elliptical now. Don't nap in the afternoons. Still meditate though. Eating healthy, fruits and veggies, little meat, whole grains. Probiotics. The body is slowly but surely getting back into shape. Love that feeling.
Mid-March is paradise here in Central Florida. This is the weather we all moved here for. I bought a hammock last week, we put it up right next to the lake. Going out, swinging slowly, looking up into the trees. Ducks and other birds enjoying the lakeside with me. Life is good. Pretty, pretty good.
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