Is this progress?

Let's beat the pink dragon

Doesn't define me

Having had breast cancer does not define who I am now.
But, as with every single life event, it changed me.
Forever.
Not only physically, but emotionally and spiritually.

SO, the last post isn't my last post.
As tempting as it is to delete it, I am keeping it as a reminder to me.
That at one point I was too afraid of getting cancer again, I didn't want to think about cancer.
I wanted to mark that I had moved on.
And move on.

Well, I am not too afraid now. Honestly, still a little afraid at times.
But not too afraid.

I can think about it.
I want to help the cause.
I will keep on posting on this blog.

Went to National Breast Cancer Coalition's (NBCC) July La Jolla LEAD conference, a six day immersion in the science of breast cancer biology and treatment development. Fascinating. I didn't know much in-depth cancer biology, immunology, drug approval process, history of breast cancer, etc. Absolutely fascinating.





The NBCC stresses evidence-based decision making on breast cancer issues. Brilliant. How much of our good-intentioned research money is spent on goals emotionally driven, or purely profit motivated. Neither is wrong or bad at all. Thank you to everyone who has donated money to breast cancer in honor of a lost loved one. And the reward of profit is a fabulous driver for entrepreneurial endeavors, so research to tweak existing drugs and treatments to be just a little better is tempting. But doesn't cure cancer.

The point is, let's change the conversation (taking words from NBCC.) We have thrown millions of dollars on breast cancer research, and the results in the past ten, twenty years are not impressive. Deaths from breast cancer are slightly trending downward. And number of breast cancer diagnoses are slightly trending upward.

So let's have the goals not be slightly better treatments, slightly better diagnosing. Let's have the goal be less deaths (end metastasis) and less breast cancer to begin with (vaccines.)

NBCC's Artemis Project on vaccines started three years ago. Getting the folks together to get this done.

I am reading a text book, The Biology of Cancer by Robert Weinberg. We know SO MUCH more today than we did even three years ago, twenty years ago when Mike had t cell lymphoma, or forty years ago when I took freshman biology. But we have so much more to learn.

Last post?

Is this the 

Last post of this blog?

Starting a new blog, "I am drawn." 

I don't consider myself in the cancer world anymore. Still going to mammograms,MRI's, ultrasounds, bloodwork, bone scans... and  to the oncologist every six months.   Still taking anastrozole daily to bind up any stray estrogen molecules floating around. 

I don't ache every morning. AH! I don't feel like I have the flu every day. YIPPEE. I don't feel as bloated and fragile as I did. 

Still need to get the port area's nerves cleaned up, they still are firing at random times and full blast. And my knee torn meniscus is slowly healing. 

BUT I am far enough removed that Breast cancer is a distant past. 

So I am moving on.

Now my problems are things like, "What to cook for dinner?", or "Where to go for vacation?", or "Which desk chair to buy?", or even "What to title the new blog?"  LOVE these problems....

Analysis paralysis.
Choose a title. Choose the template. Choose the first sentence, the first photo.
All these choices can paralyze a gal. The blog might not get started.

So I do what I normally do.Tell the voices wanting me to make the perfect choices to just shush. Then I charge ahead.

What an epiphany... the day I realized I didn't have to be perfect. Didn't have to do perfect. Oh, what a relief. Life became a lot more smiles and giggles. And so much more got done!

Mother Teresa's quote takes this a smidge tangentially.
 “We are called to do no great things, only small things with great Love.”

I remember back when I thought I was meant to do great things with my life. Didn't know what, but I was certain God wanted me to cure cancer, figure out how to end homelessness, be the purely compassionate friend to everyone, all the time. What a sigh of relief when I realized God has lots of people on earth to call on to accomplish His plans. To love His people and share His joy. What He really wants from me is to sit at His feet, listen to Him. Be filled with His love. Then and only then am I to get up and do those small things.

Don't be fooled. I don't have this system down perfect yet. But I am trying. And God is patient with us.  That's good news!