A Change

“And suddenly you know: It's time to start something new and trust the magic of beginnings.” Meister Eckhart

October 27, 2015. 

Day after Mack is 35. 

He said in passing they probably wont be in Raleigh forever.

Corey and Liz have been in Winter Park for 3 weeks. 

I just want to be near my kids. 

Returned to Windsor from Midland Oct 2015, tears of joy entering home. I am home.

Sat on beach, asking what am I doing. I am not settled. See double rainbow. God is watching over me. Smiling down at me.

This summer, inspired by Mack and Tray not eating large mammal meat, I shifted away from beef and pork. Felt better. Now no desire to eat red meat. Lots of beans and cheese. Mojka's computer always has me on carnivore diet. Last week it told me I needed vegetarian diet. WHO just came out with 'processed meats and red meat bad for cancer.'

Mojka's computer showed minute level of bone tumor metastasis and thoracic aneurism. My big fear. She says go off oncologist drug, she will give me what I need. 

Eat clean, exercise. 

Don't be afraid.

I tested for 'fear.' First time. 

That's been my issue for 20 years. I am afraid. 

Cannon Glennon's illness was same. 

For God did not give us a spirit of fear. He gave us a spirit of power and of love and of a good mind. 2 Tim 1:7

In spring I was told by oncologist I had almost osteoporosis, and my cholesterol was high. Both side effects of anti cancer drug I am on. Well, I dropped the cholesterol with Red Rice Yeast and moderate exercise. It will be 2 years until I get Dexiscanned again, bone density. 

The anti cancer drug which they wanted me on for ever, needs to stop. I stopped it last week. 

Yes I did. 

 Yes I did. 

Taking control of my health.

Started with a trainer Rachel yesterday. 3 times a week. Can hardly move today I ache all over.  I weigh too much. Cholesterol did come down.

Mojka says minimize carbs. 

So no more oatmeal for breakfast. Eggs and coffee.

All summer, for 5 months, I put Mike first. He is doing such a service to the world, running the Dow Foundation.

Now for 7 months, here at Windsor, I get to do what I want. My health comes first. I have gotten my identity from what I do for others.

This is a change.

I am doing for me. 

And just being for others. 

What a ride.